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:: Stories :: Storyboard :: Blood Heir
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 AuthorTopic: Blood Heir (Read 363 times)
Floyd Looney
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 Blood Heir
« Thread Started on May 28, 2009, 5:06pm »
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Blood Heir


The high grass rustled, something shot through space between two trees, Grimak jabbed a spear at it and felt contact. It had caught him a bit off his guard but he knew it would fall somewhere nearby.

He passed through the dry high grass coming upon a bank of a stream, likely a tributary of the mighty Nonga River. Not far away he saw a small animal lying on its side just inches from the water on a bed of pebbles. He could see the slight rising and falling of its gray furred chest, soon the rising and fallen stopped.

Grimak knealed next to his kill, a rather small animal but it need feed only two. He placed his hand on the animal and closed his eyes, yes its life force had left its furry little body while its blood was still warm.

“Thank you for my meal” he thought toward whatever spirit an animal left behind. He cupped his hand beneath the wound and pressed with his other hand, filling the palm with the warm blood of a once lively creature. He drank the small amount of blood in honor of the creatures sacrifice. He honored that which he killed for food, he did not kill for sport, that would be immoral.

Grimak carried the kill back to his camp, he found his son, Rinkat, sitting on a stone next to a small roaring fire that had not been lit earlier. They would not have to eat the Havalan raw after all.

“Not one fish would enter my net father” the boy said without looking up, he had heard Grimak enter the camp, although he had made no noise. The boy looked at with a light smile “Has that poor creature consented to be our dinner?”

Grimak shook his head “I do not like these jokes, they are ill-fitting the future ruler of our world. You have much to learn before I can die and leave you to make a mess of it”.

“I take it very serious father, I would not have it any other way”

Rinkat began removing the skin of the animal skillfully, it would be stretched between limbs and set out for sundrying tomorrow. The meat would be their evening meal, rather late with the sun already dropping past the distant mountains.

Grimak looked up at the stars and the double moon, "Our people came here centuries ago aboard massive craft. Today things are so different that they might never be repaired, you will have a lot to bear on those shoulders, my son, future Protector!"

"Yes father. I shall try to be a good ruler" the boy said seriously.

Grimak regarded his son as an abled warrior, intelligent and cunning on the hunt. The boy was fascinated by the stories of the elders and the founders, always a good sign for a ruler. At night Grimak often found his son gazing at the sky, usually thinking about the wandering stars that glide across the sky every night.

Tonight was a bit cloudy and his son would sleep well, they would both be rested enough to hunt their food and for the meeting.

Grimak was the ruler of the world, its judge and its executioner. He was the sole source of justice for their people. He traveled great distances across the lands and sea doing his job, sometimes having to put a man to his death. Grimak was the only judge and executioner for a people who had once sworn themselves free of any rulers. Until a time came when one became necessary.

But Grimak did not make the law, there were none who had the power to change the law, the natural law that governed the people of this world. It was considered sacred, their law, their most prized acheivement in coming here to this place.

When the sun first began rising above the forests both men were awake and set about to do their daily chores. First they rolled up their sleeping mats and coverings, these would be carried on their packs.
Before leaving they dug up the remains of the evening meal from the ashes, it was still warm, this was their morning meal before they set off to the meeting place.

Grimak carried his spear in his hand while Rinkat had his slung over one shoulder as he drank from the water pouch he carried. The furry skin of the Havalan still stretched on limbs was strapped to the back of his pack. They walked silently through the forest hearing the rustling leaves under their feet while listening for any other sounds.

Soon they were on a rise looking down upon a pond, they stood next to a large gray boulder with moss climbing one side. Here they would wait for the others, this was the meeting place.

Grimak reached deep into the pack from his back and pulled out a small book, held together with leather straps. Here was the basic knowledge of their whole world, the oldest book ever written on this world when humans had first stepped upon it. A chronicle about a trip through the ocean of stars and of their first days after arrival.

He read it aloud, and Rinkat was listening even though pretending to retie one of the straps holding his pack together.

The Departing:
We leave our homeworld with heavy hearts, filled with nostalgia and grief about what could have been had things been a little different. A world that seemed tailor made for our kind, even designed for us to prosper and provide for our happiness.

If only it were thus. We have squandered the opportunity that our maker, be it God or nature, has given us. Our potential has been anchored and thrown into the deep sea to drown. The world was given to us and our minds were given to us so that we might make it a little better all the time.

It was not to be. We have wasted our minds, we reject our minds in favor of our animal apetites. In doing so we have assured ourselves of rising this far and no farther. Our people were once wealthier and more advanced than today and tomorrow we will again be primitives.

Not all of us could accept this, of course. We have decided to cross the expanse of space to one of the worlds that appears much like our own. We do not fear being followed by those who have rejected the improvement of the species, who accept the idea of becoming savage animals as some sort of virtue.
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Floyd Looney
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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #1 on May 28, 2009, 5:10pm »
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I was thinking that if I keep writing the story I might start putting entries of the book at the beginning of chapters. BTW, the denizens of the world do not understand exactly what some words are but they decided that 'nostalgia' means 'fond memories'. There are also strings of numbers and symbols that mean nothing at all to them.
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Attero Dominatus
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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #2 on May 29, 2009, 2:38am »
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Those entries add a lot to the story. And are these strings of numbers the dates of the writing?

Very good story. I like this idea of a single person being responsible for justice.
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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #3 on May 29, 2009, 2:42am »
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So apparently the story is about Rinkat having to learn to fill his fathers sandals, or whatever they wear on their feet. Did you notice the line about the stars that glide through the night sky? Is it a satellite or a ship that is still in orbit after all this time?
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Attero Dominatus
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« Reply #4 on May 29, 2009, 2:46am »
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I would say satellites. A sufficiently large ship in low orbit would be discernible (you can see the International Space Station with the naked eye around sunset because the reflection from its solar panels and radiator fins make it bright, if its orbit passes above where you are at least).

Could it be that they are being observed?
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« Reply #5 on May 29, 2009, 2:55am »
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I haven't decided yet. I would tend to doubt it though... but who knows?
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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #6 on May 29, 2009, 2:57am »
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The next portion is about a young man breaking the law and violating others property and rights. Its a possible death penalty or banishment thats as good as a death penalty.
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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #7 on May 29, 2009, 3:13am »
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Cool. I look forward to seeing it.

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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #8 on Jun 13, 2009, 1:03pm »
[Quote]

Soon the others had arrived and a shaking of the hands and a trading of smiles and pats on the back for their friends. They were meeting with the Elder of the region about a local problem they believed only Grimak could handle. Rinkat was alert and paying a lot of attention.

“We are reaching the end of our rope, Grimak. The young man has ignored the plea of his family, he has ignored the warnings of the entire village. He turned his back on the Loya and walked out, such disrespect” the old man nearly pleaded “He has nothing but contempt for the property of others, many are afraid he may become violent”.

Grimak held up a hand “We do not judge or punish for what someone might do or for what their motives are. We judge and punish actions. Explain to me, these indiscretions”.

The old man consulted one of his young guides and then answered “He is a thief”.

All of them knew this was grim. The society that had been formed after the landing held two things as sacred between people. Their property and the binding contract, these were the basics of their entire societal structure. Theft was a high crime and could even lead to death as punishment. Often it meant banishment to some God-forsaken place like an uninhabited jungle region or an island where no one else lived.

“Theft of small things mostly. Eggs here and there, as well as food from gardens. He is idle and refuses to do any type of work” the Elder told Grimak who asked the obvious question “He steals food because he refuses to work for his bread?”

The old man nodded grimly. “His name is Hijan, he has a hovel outside of the village”

Without another word Grimak and Rinkat followed the Elder and his helper down the far side of the hill, finding a worn path through the forest. The silence came in anticipation that an execution might be required in this case. Rinkat knew that these duties weighed heavily on his fathers chest, he could see him making tighter, shorter breathes.

Does Hijan know of the stories of the stragglers? Those who had complained and did not work, but relied on those who did work to support them. This led to one of the basic precepts of law in the colony, lifted directly from the pages from old Earth history, although most of the colonists did not know it.

“Those that do not work, shall not eat” as the first Protector had proclaimed, saying that those who refused to feed themselves should not require feeding by others. The law was written down as “No man should be a burden upon the others”. This was quite easy for the descendants of the Founders to understand.

Rinkat could not understand the desire by some of his age to do nothing at all, he couldn't be still like a corpse. He thought that those who refused to get up were inviting a stronger response from their enemies.

Soon they reached the hovel. Sitting in front of the rounded-top mud and stick construction was a boy not much older than Rinkat. The boy, Hijan, seemed as if he had expected their visit for he was setting out three bowls of rice. He stood and smiled to them as they approached.

“Are you the one known as Hijan?” Grimak asked, ignoring the bowls of rice. Rinkat felt hungry but knew the issue had nothing to do with the food. Instead he watched his father.

“Yes, I am Hijan”

“Is what I have heard from your village elder true?” Grimak asked, the boy visibly shrank a bit.

“He is not a liar” Hijan said, Rinkat mentally gave him credit for this.

“You must understand that our prople have laws? We have few but we enforce them because it is good for our society” Grimak explained “Have you not learned about the Landing?”

“I have. I have some questions about them” Hijan said “May I ask?”

“Of course”

“Why should those who have plenty not help those with none?”

Grimak had heard this before. “If it is proper for one to live from the work of others then what if no one worked at all? Who would feed them? House them? Society only works when everyone contributes and no one is penalized for working or rewarded for sloth”.

“I see” the boy said quietly, “am I to be banished? Executed?”

Grimak looked at the Elder and both walked a short distance away. Hijan and Rinkat simply regarded each other silently for a moment. Rinkat knew the boy was trying not to look frightened of what was to be done but he also knew his father would not be very tough. Hijan was young, and Rinkat knew that his father would be lenient this time, unless the boy came to his attention again.

The older man and his father returned. Grimak put a hand on Hijan's shoulder and asked “Are you willing to work? Are you willing to respect the property of others?”

Hijan nodded “Yes, I know that I have not been a good person, I have acted as a spoiled child”

“Tarsis here says that he has a job for you, if you are willing”

Hijan looked surprised and grateful at the same time.

“It is not a pleasant occupation. There are several families that will pay you a trifling sum to remove their waste from the village each day. You must cart it over that low hill to the east, where the swamps begin.” Tarsis explained.

“I will do it. I will” Hijan said.


Later as they began their walk to the next village Rinkat asked his father why he had been lenient, was it because Hijan was young?

“He reminded me of you” Grimak said.

“Me? But I have never stolen eggs or refused a chore have I?”

His father smiled, “No, but when you were much younger you liked to question everything and test your boundaries”.

“I was likely to have thought of them as your boundaries father”

“I suppose”

They walked in silence until it became time to set up camp for the night.
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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #9 on Jun 13, 2009, 1:03pm »
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OK, he was lenient this time.
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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #10 on Jun 15, 2009, 12:29am »
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Very good. Lenient, but handled well. What do you have planned next?
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« Reply #11 on Jun 15, 2009, 4:50pm »
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I dunno, a banishment? Maybe a conflict between father and son?
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« Reply #12 on Jun 15, 2009, 5:50pm »
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Maybe Rinkat is forced into the role of his father, who somehow loses his ability to judge (sickness, injury, or something else). Something that really challenges Rinkat, forces him to adapt to his new role quickly or see his who society collapse into either anarchy or marxism.
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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #13 on Jun 16, 2009, 1:11pm »
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Thats good. I will definitely have to think about it. I don't have full access to this computer right now though.
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 Re: Blood Heir
« Reply #14 on Aug 19, 2009, 5:26am »
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Jun 16, 2009, 1:11pm, Floyd Looney wrote:
Thats good. I will definitely have to think about it. I don't have full access to this computer right now though.


you COULD BE WRITING ABOUT EARLY MAYAN CIVILIZATION BEFORE ALL THOSE AMAZING CITY'S WERE BUILT.
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