Floyd Looney
Arbiter
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs134.snc1/5730_1080083405656_1333433491_179231_4861496_a.jpg "[avatar]")
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,839
|  | The Storm
« Thread Started on Sept 1, 2009, 2:52am » | ![[Quote]](http://images.proboards.com/buttons/quote.gif "[Quote]") |
I think it was supposed to be the beginning of a political-intrigue/murder mystery type story set in the late 1800's in a fictionalized USA or something. Maybe a strange hybrid?
Its a Word docx file. attached.
Barely more than 2 pages. Any thoughts?
Please login to download attachments. |
|
|
Floyd Looney
Arbiter
member is offline
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,839
| | Re: The Storm
« Reply #1 on Sept 1, 2009, 8:41pm » | |
Okay, anyway I think has possibilities but needs a rewrite. I kinda like the line: Good boy, I hate him.
|
|
|
Attero Dominatus
Overseer
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h159/Ashanari/BlueAvatar-1.jpg "[avatar]")
Ipsa Scienta Potestas Est
Joined: Apr 2009
Gender: Male 
Posts: 1,160
| | Re: The Storm
« Reply #2 on Sept 1, 2009, 10:21pm » | |
I liked that line too. I think you should have the villains try to shut down the Sturm Morning Storm and other liberty supporting newspapers by way of things like regulation or buying out the properties where they are located or something else. Show just how bad the statist politicians are.
|
The price of freedom is eternal VigilanceThomas Jefferson |
|
Floyd Looney
Arbiter
member is offline
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,839
| | Re: The Storm
« Reply #3 on Sept 1, 2009, 10:58pm » | |
There has to be conflict somewhere along the line. You know that in old west it was not totally unusual for angry crowds to target opposition papers and destroy their presses and stuff.
|
|
|
cambrian
.
member is offline
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 22
| | Re: The Storm
« Reply #4 on Sept 5, 2009, 1:16am » | |
And it was not unusual for rival businesses to carry on feuds and wars and assorted skullduggery to get an edge on each other. Double if one happened to have friendly links in government.
| |
|
Floyd Looney
Arbiter
member is offline
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,839
| | Re: The Storm
« Reply #5 on Sept 5, 2009, 1:42am » | |
Sometimes a crooked cabal could come to power. The mayor, town prosecutor and judge might all be in cahoots. The hired police force might be their henchmen. This still happens of course, anyone see that story from Jericho Arkansas?
|
|
|
![[image]](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m13/geronl/LibertyFic.png "[image]")
![[Home]](http://images.proboards.com/menu/home.gif "[Home]")
![[New Topics]](http://images.proboards.com/menu/topics.png "[New Topics]")
![[Help]](http://images.proboards.com/menu/help.gif "[Help]")
![[Search]](http://images.proboards.com/menu/search.gif "[Search]")
![[Login]](http://images.proboards.com/menu/login.gif "[Login]")
![[Register]](http://images.proboards.com/menu/register.gif "[Register]")
![[Search This Thread]](http://images.proboards.com/search2.gif "[Search This Thread]")
![[Reply]](http://images.proboards.com/buttons/reply.gif "[Reply]")
![[Share Topic]](http://images.proboards.com/new/buttons/share.png "[Share Topic]")
![[Print]](http://images.proboards.com/buttons/print.gif "[Print]")
Author
Logged