|
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 20, 2009 22:51:44 GMT -5
The end of my story? Or Floyds shocking, and gut wrenching cliff hanger that is sure to leave any network executive drunk enough to read it, in full cardiac arrest.
My endings are allways happy and make the sponsors a lot of money.
|
|
|
Post by Attero Dominatus on Dec 21, 2009 2:31:58 GMT -5
I posted that in reply to Floyd saying he would start writing Earth Czar again. But your fiction is great too!
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 21, 2009 5:53:31 GMT -5
So there I was standing at the head of the table in the control room of the main building with the full attention of everyone else. My mind has gone completely blank and I can only think of my parents and the day I was taken from them. I have to shake it off, we have no time for that.
Many of the terminals and instruments of the control room had been smashed beyond our repair, at least at the moment and I was taking stock of what was operable. I needed as much information as I could get about our situation.
The valley, as we called it from day one, has been completely liberated and is in our control. The mining operations were over as far as we were concerned. We had five hundred loyal troops and forty-one prisoners. We had full operational control of three of the four Beasts. Our experts were working on unlocking the weapons of the last one.
There were two dozen other Beasts outside the valley and several thousand soldiers, we know that Graf and Boris are attempting to reach them. We had to reach them first and we had to try to get them on our side. I looked at one of the technical guys “None of the Beasts outside the valley have answered our calls?”
“I think they’re on another frequency, encoded and scrambled just like the one we were using inside the valley. I bet it was another one of their safeguards to keep us from doing exactly what we’re doing” he told me. He pointed at some of the terminals that were smashed “We think we can get in contact with them soon enough, but I do not know how long that’s going to take”.
“Do we know where Graf and Boris went?”
One of the leaders of the troops who had been acting as guards to us miners spoke up, “We have accounts of Boris on the north side of the valley and Graf heading south. It’s a good bet that they are already out and looking for a Beast. It‘s what any of us would have done.”
Some of the guys who still had blisters on their palms from working with heavy machinery didn’t even look at the guys who had been guards. They were cordial for now but I don’t know if the fight ahead will cement the fact they’re on the same side.
“Any suggestions?” I asked lightly. A few curt smiles but then I moved on. “We are either going to have to go after Graf and Boris or get the other Beasts on our side, or abandon the valley and make a run for it in our Beasts.”
“Run where?” one of the engineers asked “A few kilometers beyond the rim of the valley we hit alien landscape, alien plants that could poison us and alien animals we know nothing about.
We don’t have detailed maps of the rest of the planet. They kept us in the dark, we are all slaves here whether we worked the mines or not.”
Ouch. Probably not a good time to bring that up. I see several of the bigger guys looking around at each other, they still felt like opposing sides I am sure.
Someone came running down a ramp, we all watched through the transparent wall as he raced to the door and entered where we were. “There’s a Beast at the west, it looks like its going to come into the valley.”
One of the guys with a computer in front of him stood up. “Did you get a number on that Beast?”
The things are so big its hard to imagine he didn’t. The numbers are bigger than we are, you can make those out quite a ways off, especially with the binocs. The observer nodded “it’s the 221”.
The computer had been found intact in Graf’s old office, it had some particular records he had been keeping. “The 221 was a miner”. We all breathed a bit easier, the ones who had been put to work in the mines were far more likely to take our side. The 221 was probably coming to ask why communications were down, no doubt they already knew something was wrong.
“Who is in charge of the 221?” I asked.
“It used to be an older guy named Hiram Johnson but he died in the mines, Graf put one of Hiram’s office aides in charge. Didn’t let her go into the mines, probably trying to get the guys to hate her. Another way to keep control” the guy shrugged “Her name is Stacie Marsh. The problem for Graf is, I think she does have the loyalty of the crew”
That would be welcome news.
“Well, the 221 is going to be here soon. Lets get some guns on the roof here and on the processing plants, just in case. Then we should be out there to greet them, I hope this Stacie is a brunette” I looked around as I said it and received some chuckles. Soon we were headed downstairs and we could already hear the 221 moving our way.
All of our Beasts were arranged at intervals and spread far enough apart that any single enemy Beast would be entering a death trap of a crossfire. The 221 stopped exactly where it was supposed to and the noise soon died down. The noise was loud but surprisingly quiet for something as big as a Beast, a battleship on land.
Hatches opened on the 221 and a ramp lowered from the rear and soldiers began exiting, weapons slung loosely on their backs. A young woman in regular fatigues with a needle carbine slung on her back like all of the others strode right up to me and gave me a salute.
“Hello” she said “I have some bad news for you guys. Graf has managed to reach a loyal Beast to the south, I am sure he is planning to gather as much force as he can for an attack. The good news is that just as many Beasts are not answering his calls.”
Then she reached out and grabbed my hand and shook it. “I’m Stacie Marsh”
“I’m Marco Rubin” I say and she grins sarcastically.
“We all know who you are Marco” she told me with a playful look on her face.
The moment passed and I asked “Boris, did he reach a Beast?”
She shook her head “I haven’t heard anything about him. There are some Beasts I haven’t been able to contact so its possible. What about the control room?”
“Smashed”
“Right. It seems the first thing we need to do is gather our forces while they gather theirs. We will need at least two Beasts for that mission.” she said “We’ll just have to round them up faster than Graf can”.
Apparently Stacie Marsh was a real take charge kind of girl.
|
|
|
Post by Attero Dominatus on Dec 23, 2009 1:43:51 GMT -5
Very good. Possible love interest in Stacie Marsh?
If you need any suggestions for battle scenes involving the Beasts, well a battleship is just as good for artillery support as it is for combat against other ships. Of course these vehicles would need to be able to defend itself against fire from space, which would certainly be the case in rebelling against the Earth government. Anti-missile missiles would be the weapon of choice against hostile warheads while light-scattering 'smoke' would be the best defense against lasers. Charged particle beams could be deflected by sufficiently powerful magnetic fields but there is no way to defend against neutral particle beams except destroying the ships or satellites carrying them.
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 23, 2009 13:27:34 GMT -5
Good ideas. They gave me some idea of what a pitched battle between Beasts might look like. Probably not like anything we've seen on this planet yet.
If I have that ship arrive while the battle is happening they would definitely have to have the anti-orbit capability. Barring that it'll be a ground battle with possible UAV, Armed Aarial Vehicles and such.
Smoke screens could end up covering the entire battle field, making the targeting lasers useless, maybe even radar (?). This would be interesting.
Did you see the other stories I posted?
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 23, 2009 16:37:14 GMT -5
“We need some kind of command structure” Stacie told us as we convened a meeting aboard her Beast. “Each Beast already has its own command structure, so that makes it easier for us. We’ll need some sort of cabinet-council I think, around Marco”.
A lot of heads nodded but I saw some faces that looked sour. One of the more gruff guys, liked to carry a heavy laser weapon with an atomic pack on his back brought it out. “Why does he get to be the leader?”. I think they called him Bug-Bear.
“Because, from what I hear, he built the resistance, he organized this revolt and he’s been doing a damn fine job so far. When the fighting is over we can draw straws or guess how many beans in a jar for a leader, but we’re still in the middle of a fight. Not a good idea to change horses in the middle of crossing a river” Stacie told them. Even us little guys in the 221 know all about what Marco Rubin did these past couple of years”.
That quieted the room. Even Bug-Bear seemed to agree with the logic, it could wait.
Stacie looked at me “Which Beast do you want to send with us?”
“175” I answered “They’re ready, they’re loaded and they’re pumped”.
Plus at least one of the Beasts still hadn’t brought its main weapons online, I did not add, and the other two weren’t fully manned. These were trivialities I did not feel like airing in front of the group. Some of them were manning guard posts, acting as prison guards and other duties.
“We will probably see some action. After we have gathered our forces we will have to be ready for a full-on assault against Graf and his forces. Hopefully they won’t be ready before us, because he’ll attack as soon as possible too” Stacie said.
The Commander of the 175, Randall Dowell was still there, I nodded in his direction. “Don’t you think you should go and get your Beast warmed up?”. He threw a salute and took off.
“Bug-Bear, do you think we can spare some guys from the main building? We‘re going to need some of them back in their Beasts when things heat up” I said, but Stacie interjected, “I was kind of hoping Bug-Bear would like to come with me. I can spare a few dragoons for guard duty in exchange for his big laser”.
“What do you think Bug-Bear, want some target practice?”
The huge man gave me a burly grin. “Just what I always wanted, must be my birthday”.
Soon everyone was standing back to watch the 221 and 175 maneuver out of the mining camp and towards the eastern rim. ‘Good hunting’ I thought toward them.
221. The bridge.
Stacie Marsh stood at the center of the room, her eyes scanning the screens in front of her that lined the wall and the terminal in front of her. The sensors were indicating that a Beast was nearby but as they drew closer it was clearly two Beasts in close quarters. Same as the 221 and 175. Well, we were all taught the same things by the same people after all.
The distance to the other Beasts was now about 50 kilometers. If they had good satellites and communications they could read each others e-mail by now.
“Communications?”
“They should be in range now” her com officer responded. “Shall I send them a query?”
“Just blink on and off our IFF”
The IFF was supposed to be a constant signal so that an army could tell its Beasts from enemy ones but in practice they are usually turned off before battles. Easier to avoid detection when you weren’t broadcasting while trying to jam enemy sensors.
A red light blinked on her terminal. “They’re arming missiles!”
“Activate jamming. Arm the CIWS. Prep the Belcher” She ordered.
“One in the air! Its going high, probably using visual detection”
“Fire intercept missile”
“Another one in the air!”
She waited.
“It’s homing on Jam”
“First missile gone, positive intercept”
“Tell the 175 to get into a trailing position” she ordered.
The CIWS guns blazed for a second and there was an explosion less than a mile away. The second missile was a scratch.
“I think that was a warning to stay away” Stacie said. If the other Beasts really wanted a fight they would have been firing away with everything. The other Beasts were now moving north east, not towards them. They must not be in communications with the other Beasts yet, unsure of their strength.
She tapped a small yellow circle on her terminal, the Beast launched a tiny UAV that was hardly more than a camera. She had a visual on the two Beasts within minutes, the numbers on them read 201 and 197. 197, her old ship. Commanded by her “arch-enemy“, she laughed to herself.
“LaGrange” she whispered, then she thought to herself ‘your time is coming‘.
“Okay people, lets go out there and find some allies!”
|
|
|
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 23, 2009 20:07:55 GMT -5
A.) Nice fuggin' job. B.) You have a flair for descriptive action. C.) I can't write female characters so it's always fascinating to see how it's done.
D.) But what's the underlying motivation? Wat's the reason behind all this. It can't all be about blowing stuff up...as much as I wish it were otherwise.
Oh, and the only reason I'm even chiming in is because you don't seem to mind Attero's suggestions. I mean, it's your fuggin' story and all.
But I like it.
|
|
|
Post by Attero Dominatus on Dec 23, 2009 20:28:45 GMT -5
Great job with that skirmish. Curious about this LaGrange guy and why he would not throw everything he had at Stacy. Reluctance to fire at someone he may have once cared about?
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 23, 2009 21:24:49 GMT -5
Thanks Aaron Burr.
The point is that Earth is ruled by a tyranny under the false idea that humanity is being attacked by aliens. Marco was ripped from his family, made a soldier and then made to work mines.
The point is freedom. Even if they cannot escape Planet Cochrane they could at least make it free for a while.
and the right to taco's of course.
Oh and as for writing female characters, I am just guessing. Everything I know about girls come from porn. lol. *kidding*
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 23, 2009 21:34:40 GMT -5
Attero- Yea, LaGrange was her former commanding officer, something happened between them there. Exactly what, I haven't decided yet. There is some hostility and issues there, obviously.
Oh and let us say that Graf has ordered them to avoid direct confrontation while they are forming up their army of Beasts. Which is what Stacie Marsh is doing as well. There will be a big climactic battle coming up which is, again, obvious. There will be other weapons deployed, smokescreens that darkened the entire battlefield. The Dragoons on foot will wear special visors that have a short range, bringing them to closer quarters battle. The Beasts can even drop mines behind them.
The battle shall be GLORIOUS!!! lol.
|
|
|
Post by Attero Dominatus on Dec 23, 2009 22:11:44 GMT -5
A.) Nice fuggin' job. B.) You have a flair for descriptive action. C.) I can't write female characters so it's always fascinating to see how it's done. The best advice I can give is write her as a person first and a woman second. She will likely be more emotional: a man would be appalled by the sheer number of people killed in a terrorist attack while a woman would think more specifically about the grieving mothers and fathers who lost their children (or think about that more at least). Even still, women are just as capable of setting aside their emotions and shooting people, or making the hard decision of sending people into battle where they will likely die. On the physical side, few women have the upper body strength to be an infantry soldier, though being in a ship crew is fine. Powered armor or bio-technology can change this but those are pretty much limited to science fiction.
|
|
|
Post by Attero Dominatus on Dec 23, 2009 22:18:43 GMT -5
Attero- Yea, LaGrange was her former commanding officer, something happened between them there. Exactly what, I haven't decided yet. There is some hostility and issues there, obviously. Oh and let us say that Graf has ordered them to avoid direct confrontation while they are forming up their army of Beasts. Which is what Stacie Marsh is doing as well. There will be a big climactic battle coming up which is, again, obvious. There will be other weapons deployed, smokescreens that darkened the entire battlefield. The Dragoons on foot will wear special visors that have a short range, bringing them to closer quarters battle. The Beasts can even drop mines behind them. The battle shall be GLORIOUS!!! lol. I look forward to it! If missiles are the primary armament of the Beasts, they would likely have some measure of 'intelligence.' The Soviet P500 Bazalt was designed to fly in swarms where one missile would fly at high altitude to find a target and then transfer that information to the rest of the missiles ( see www.vectorsite.net/twcruz_7.html ). Future missile guidance technology would no doubt be a lot better.
|
|
|
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 23, 2009 22:28:16 GMT -5
O.K. so it's a Freedom deal. Any chance of slipping in a little bit of the Constitution? I seem to remember Heinlin doing that quite a bit in some of his stuff. Set it out in space, but link it to present day conditions on Earth.
But yeah Attero, wimins iz peeple. It's just that as the writer, I get bored out of my mind when I have to write about skirts shopping, or crying or junk. But I'll give it a whack...
And I'd fight for some Tamales...maybe a Taco. But it'd have to be the best damn taco in the galaxy.
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 23, 2009 22:31:32 GMT -5
I like that idea. I guess Graf is trying to save their ammo for the big battle. Resupply can be a big problem. Already had the high flying missile with the camera/sensors on it, why not the rest?
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 27, 2009 20:14:35 GMT -5
I'll be writing some more tonight I think. I'll add it very late or sometime tomorrow.
|
|