|
Post by Attero Dominatus on Sept 17, 2009 19:37:52 GMT -5
Cool. I look forward to seeing it.
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Sept 17, 2009 20:31:06 GMT -5
Right. I did update the Village by the Shore though
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Sept 27, 2009 16:48:42 GMT -5
(How about the battle being from the viewpoint of one of the Viceroys henchmen?? UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
Rick Graf squeezed a few rounds off. Then he ducked down behind the metal tank and waved some of his troops forward.
Soon he moved up to behind a metal shed. They were moving little by little and the enemy was falling back. He had to get back to the main building before they did or there would be big trouble.
He and his troops froze into place as they heard the whine of very large engines firing up. Those insurrectionists had control of the Beasts? How did that happen? Some of the Guards must be fighting on the other side. That would explain it. Those Traitors!
Graf waved his men back. There would be little chance of living through an attack against a Beast or several of them. He decided they needed to get to higher ground. Maybe some of the exterior troops were still loyal and he could send them to fight these rebels.
He pulled his SRC device from his belt and called to Boris Borski. “Boris, they have the Beasts!”
He heard back an out of breath response “We know. We’re on our way out of here to the north”
“Okay, we’ll go south”
So Boris had the same idea. This way maybe we can bring in a pincer movement and retake the valley and get production moving again. There was an explosion to his left where some of his troops had tried to fight back. The Beasts were making their way towards him.
Rick Graf found one of the ways up the valley wall and sent several of his men up first and went himself. It was an enclosed ladder that was attached to one of the ore processing facilities; this would give them some concealment as they escaped. Let the rebels think they have won, let them think they control the valley. Their overconfidence will work against them.
There had been no contact with the Viceroy since the battle began. It had taken them off-guard, both he and Boris had been out of the main building. It should have occurred to them not to leave the place at the same time. Viceroy Dillon would be furious.
Rick would call Boris back later on the short-range device and the first to reach a loyal Beast would inform the Viceroy.
After they were away from the valley Rick counted the soldiers who had come with him. They almost all worked for him in the main building or had been there from before the last “alien” attack. He talked to Boris who said his group was the same way.
Together they had fewer than fifty soldiers but both would go out and find a loyal Beast.
As they headed farther away from the valley edge he wondered if those rebels might consider sending those Beasts after him or Boris. He hoped not. They would need time to consolidate their power of course. Those troops wouldn’t leave until they knew their standing.
|
|
|
Post by Attero Dominatus on Sept 27, 2009 19:27:39 GMT -5
That was very interesting. Do you plan to have Rick Graf be a main character? If so, it would be interesting to see why he remains loyal to the Czar (nationalist pride, or a desire to be on the winning side, or even personal reasons, or anything else that would add to his character).
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Sept 27, 2009 19:36:52 GMT -5
Viceroy Mack Dillon and his goons Rick Graf and Boris Borski plus the incoming ship's zampolit I suppose will be the main bad guys. Now I need to set up some more good guys.
|
|
|
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 20, 2009 14:38:46 GMT -5
Wow Floyd! Pretty fuggin' cool story. Has it sat and fermented long enough? I do that a lot too. Just kinda' run out of steam and then let the story sit around for a while until I get another idea.
I'm not raggin' ya', I just noticed things kinda' died out for the Czars around September.
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 20, 2009 15:02:27 GMT -5
I do that a lot. I need to work on finishing a story. Thats my big problem. This one has some good characters and stuff.
|
|
|
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 20, 2009 15:24:57 GMT -5
Yeah it does have some good characters. Just write the ending first. That way you have a goal to reach for. Personally, I try to reach it in as few words as possible. That way I can always expand ideas out later. Cutting stuff out is harder because it usually cuts out unintended stuff and generally weakens the structure.
So how does it end?
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 20, 2009 16:01:07 GMT -5
I have no idea.
The story unfolds for me as I write, I am one of those guys.
|
|
|
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 20, 2009 16:35:45 GMT -5
Hmmm. I'd give it a shot anyway. Blow something up. That's what they do in Hollywood when the idea factory craps out.
Just write the last sentence or two. See if it looks plausible. Does the kid live? Does anything change for the Czars?
I'd go with the kid gaining the reigns of power and tearing it all down....uh..man.
Or maybe he gets married and fat and happy. You tell me.
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 20, 2009 17:42:58 GMT -5
Heh. Well, its obvious something has to be done with the Viceroy and the ship thats on its way. They haven't even dealt with all of the other soldiers outside the quarry or whatever that valley their in is.
|
|
|
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 20, 2009 17:53:00 GMT -5
AAHHHHHH!!!
If you know all this, write it down. This is tortuous.
|
|
|
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 20, 2009 17:55:38 GMT -5
OK, I will start writing tonight. I will try to add at least a chapter tonight.
|
|
|
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 20, 2009 18:02:23 GMT -5
Sweet. Anything to postpone writing the ending of my story.
|
|
|
Post by Attero Dominatus on Dec 20, 2009 22:40:16 GMT -5
I look forward to seeing it.
|
|