Sorry about that

[Floyd Looney]

I have been away visiting my brother. I guess I should have tried to remember the password to post smething. I am very sorry about that.

*Sigh* I started yet another story.

This one is already 10 pages. I find it very interesting.

Imagine the most bureaucratic, third-world Earth you can imagine and they have finally completed construction of a starship after a dozen years of diplomatic and political wrangling over every tiny aspect. Everything decided by committee, for example and everyone is corrupt.

Thats the basic background. I'll post a bit more if your still around.

[Attero Dominatus]

Not a problem. I just kept checking every day for spammers or trolls.

This story sounds interesting. If you need any suggestion, well, what happens when you mix politics with corruption and large scale construction projects is that corners are cut.

For example: radiation shielding is not as strong as it should be because a certain politician got kickbacks from a favored but low quality contractor. Or maybe the resonant waveguide that keeps the dangerous metastable helium fuel from exploding does not have enough failsafe devices because it was impossible to shave off those few extra kilos without re-designing the whole thing.

[Floyd Looney]

I am on page 10 and the main character has yet to see the ship or leave the ground. He was chosen at random by a computer because they couldn't agree on any way to fill the position, which through backroom horse trading was assigned to the US. The position of "Captain" has no real authority, he just recieves orders from the World Parliament and the Secretariat and hands them down to the various other officers. There are also councils and committees aboard the ship that have authority over certain parts of its operations.

Very bureaucratic in other words.

[Floyd Looney]

here is a part of that...

Meanwhile in the United States the filling of the Captain position was a hot potato that everyone was fighting over. The pacifists vehemently objected to the notion that a military officer or even a veteran or the son of a veteran be chosen. The radical feminists, barely resembling women, strongly favored a female for the job on the grounds that all men are rapists and pigs and therefore repugnant.

Muslims objected that the Captain might be a Christian or other infidel and threatened further problems if their will were not heeded. Animal rights activists suggested that an animal would make as good a Captain as a human.

The politicians meanwhile fought over the political points of what party the Captain should be a member of. Others suggested the Captain should naturally be from their fine states and cities and any who do not agree were worse than Hitler.

After years the Special Representative Council finally proposed the position be filled by random drawing from among citizens. This brought an outcry of protests from illegal immigrant advocates that foreigners not be excluded because this was discriminatory even if other nations had never considered giving foreigners their positions. On this one the illegal aliens lost out.

On the bright side Mexico had its own positions to fill, the best one being Cultural Events Planner aboard the ship.

The Captain Lottery would be done by a computer program that would choose someone at random, this was to be shown on live television. The President of the United States, having little else to do, was made the host of the event.

[Floyd Looney]

another small bit:

Just after the program he was working with was saved the power went out, again. That stupid television appearance by the President must have ended, the electric authorities would never shut down during one of them. Of course there was never any electricity when a television channel planned a short and hostile interview with the opposition leader.

There was a knock at the door and it was fast and hard. Jim was instantly on his feet with images of his children being hurt or something running through his head. When he pushed open the door of his container house he found a neighbor with a broad smile who grabbed his hand to shake.

“What’s wrong?” he asked “Are Darla and Mike okay?”

The neighbor’s brow furrowed for a second and then the grin returned “I am sure they are fine, I just came to congratulate you Jim!”

“Congratulate me?” he asked, perplexed.

Then Jim remembered that his neighbor was Bill and he had a television, one of the few in the camp and the power had been on.

“You have been named the Captain of the Earth Ship One, Jim Thompson of Settlement Camp 37. This is great news, isn’t it? It means your kids are all set, of course you’ll be going on a multi-year voyage and all that, but no more worries about food and stuff!” Bill was going to ramble on and on and Jim could see his kids pulling a wagon with two jerry cans coming up the hill. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Soon the entire camp was celebrating, everyone who could do so brought something to share even if it was just a song to sing. Everyone was happy for Jim Thompson and everyone wanted to know if they could have his double container home.

Jim thanked everyone and his arm was sore from shaking so many hands and for the first time in a long while he got to see his kids grinning from ear to ear.
Within days a small convoy of government vehicles arrived to pick up Jim and his children and whisk them away each taking only a small satchel of their few personal belongings. Jim Thompson was now an international celebrity and he was given the answers to every interview, he was just going through the motions.

Within weeks he started his training with classes on Roberts Rules of Order and the power structure of the ships command. He was to learn that the position of Captain was quite a minor one in real terms. He met some of the other officers that would make the trip with him at lunch and dinner.

His first ‘friend’ was the Second Junior Cultural Affairs Officer who was from Palau, nephew of their main World Parliament member. The young man had a strange name, Polo, which apparently noted eccentric wealth in some parts of the world.

[Floyd Looney]

another bit, this one showing more about his circle of friends:

He and Polo were sitting on a park eating bowls of noodles when they met the Earth Ship One Inter-Council Affairs Advisory Officer Lance Takei. Jim’s first question was about what did an Inter-Council Affairs Advisory Officer actually do? Polo stuffed noodles into his mouth to keep from laughing.

“The main job of the Inter-Council Affairs Advisory Officer is to advise on the relationships between the various operational councils aboard the ship” he said this as if he had recited it word for word from a textbook a million times. Then he smiled “I think that means I shuttle messages back and forth and recommend they read the messages”.

It always felt good to find people who “weren’t with the program” at least secretly, but everyone wanted to get on that ship and get away. Then again the World Parliament and Secretariat made it well known that they expected to be giving the commands and making the decisions on the mission. They would obviously have enforcement aboard the vessel to make sure this happened.

Lance Takei often joined Polo and Jim Thompson for lunch or for evening meals and told them about growing up in Japan as the rogue son of a politician. As soon as he noticed a shift in fortunes that should he stay rogue he would lose access to credit and possibly food he became an obedient son. How his father had doted on his new apprentice son who wanted to follow in his footsteps.

Then from France, the future Anglo-Franco Lingual Liaison Officer began to join them, much to their surprise. Sabine Bastiat was beautiful, she had short dark hair and a round youthful face. When she walked into a room she seemed to take ownership of it and this always seemed to please her. Conversations would shift on a dime with the slightest comment from her, she was also a joy to be around.

She told them she had been a trouble-maker and rabble-rouser in the boarding school her elite parents had sent her to. A real rebel who had even founded a libertarian party among the schoolgirls. There had been four girls willing to join her and risk the wrath of the headmistress and their parents.

Then she had decided to join the mission and promised her parents to be good if she could just get on that ship somehow. Her parents had pulled the proper strings and soon Sabine was on her way to the Euro-Spatial Training Centre and onto America for the last of her training. She told them she was delighted to have found some real compatriots among her fellow crewmembers.

Jim reckoned that all three of them were completely smitten with her within ten minutes of meeting her. He found it hilarious how they would compete for her attention during their get-togethers. In private she whispered to Jim that after the ship had left Earth they had to immediately begin to usurp the control from Earth. He had already decided on that, of course.

“Did you know they are training a team of specialists to talk to aliens? Should we meet any and should they have a language we could possibly understand, I guess. It is completely ridiculous but then again, everything is these days” Sabine told them during one lunch period. She shared some classes with that team which consisted of Navajo, Eskimo, Urdu and someone from Uganda.

[Floyd Looney]

I am sort of basing the charater of Sabine Bastiat on Sabine Herold, a real French woman!

wiki says "Sabine Herold became known in 2003 when she led an 80,000 member protest advocating reforms in France and demanding a responsible attitude from trade unions. Her stand against the unions led to her being described as the 'new Joan of Arc'.[1]

She has often reflected upon the policy implemented by the British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and is commonly called "Mademoiselle Thatcher" by newspapers,[2] a comparison that she considers to be a compliment.[3]"

She was 21 when she led that remarkable rally!

and she was hot too.

[Attero Dominatus]

That was interesting. Choosing a commander from a lottery instead of someone with military experience (NASA commanders and crews are drawn from US Navy and US Air Force), talk about stupid on the part of the World Parliament. Nice shots at political correctness.

I really like Sabine Bastiat, especially her rebellious streak.

As for Sabine Harold. I have known about her since 2003 (her libertarianism and pro-americaness captured my interest since France was highly socialist and anti-american at the time). She is really, really hot.

[Floyd Looney]

I wonder if everyone takes August off. lol. Darn those 6-hour workdays too!

[Aaron Burr]

This is a hilarious idea. Write it out with more satire. The experience of being overwhelmed by bureaucracy is pretty universal. The captain being chosen by lottery is brilliant.

Keep on keepin' on with this one.


And write the ending next so this one doesn't languish away under your bed alongside the dirty socks.

[Floyd Looney]

I plan to. I have a week or two with time enough to do some writing. Especially at night.