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Dec 14, 2009 21:53:38 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 14, 2009 21:53:38 GMT -5
So I registered. One problem. I'm Aaron Burr, not aaronburr. What the Hell kind of deal is that? I'd challenge someone to a duel over this gross effrontery to my personage but I'm terribly, terribly lazy...and drunk.
But mostly lazy.
I dunno', I may not even hang out here I'm so mortified.
But if someone can fix that, I'll write something hilarious. With the possibility of more hilarity to follow.
Thanks in advance,
Aaron Burr
V.P. Research & Destruction EvilConservatives.org
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Dec 14, 2009 22:28:10 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 14, 2009 22:28:10 GMT -5
Now that's service. Except I did that myself...and I'm still registered as aaronburr. So its a secret shame, but shame nonetheless.
The point is, I fixed it myself. I can't tell you how annoying that is. I think I specifically mentioned that I was lazy and/or drunk. Although now, I'm clearly headed into hangover country on a Johnie Walker passport.
Sigh. I wish now I had found more things to b!tch about in my opening harangue. Its possible I may not have been drunk enough.
Now that I think about it, I know I wasn't drunk enough because I clearly remember writing the original post. So obviously its the booze that's defective and not me.
Take that Johnie Walker.
So basically I've decided to move on to cough syrup and/or sterno. Whichever one Shakespeare preferred.
Whatever. Now I'm ticked off because I have to go upload my avatar picture. Just let me know who I send the bill to when I have to get the calluses sanded off my fingertips.
Sincerely,
Aaron Burr...etc...etc...
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Dec 14, 2009 22:48:08 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 14, 2009 22:48:08 GMT -5
That would be Attero Dominatus. The bill that is.
Welcome. This is a very ... erm ... sparsely populated forum. heh.
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Dec 14, 2009 22:56:25 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 14, 2009 22:56:25 GMT -5
Well I see you are reading this again. Hello, I am Floyd. Welcome back to the loneliest outpost in deep cyberspace. You said you have been drinking, that might be a clue as to how to attract more people to venture here.
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Dec 14, 2009 23:04:55 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 14, 2009 23:04:55 GMT -5
Hannibal's Ghost!! And here I thought I had the run of the place. But if you're here, and I'm here, then the place I come from evilconservatives.org/forums/portal.php is a deserted, run down section of East Philly. Besides, I don't care if we're the only people here. I don't write for other people. I write to destroy other people. Mostly Socialists, but I hate stupidity in all its forms. For example, I'm currently taunting the kid down the block for not setting up a Carbon Credit stand like I told him to. Now its Christmas and he's whining about being broke. If he had listened to me, he'd be swimming in power transforming morphobots or whatever the Hell stupid kids want for Christmas. Instead, he gets to listen to me taunt him until Boxing Day. Hmmm...this may turn out to be the best Christmas ever.
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Dec 14, 2009 23:07:23 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 14, 2009 23:07:23 GMT -5
I presume that was "best" Christmas ever. And I have your site open in another tab. I like it.
While I am what you'd call "poor" I do not wallow in it or use as a crutch. Especially where people might see, that would just be embarrassing. I also hang out at the DUmpster at the ConservativeCave.com site where they do nothing but terrorize the leftists who inhabit Skinners' Island.
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Dec 14, 2009 23:29:28 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 14, 2009 23:29:28 GMT -5
You're only poor if you believe you are. Or strung out on dope. Either way it's just a mind trap. Just send out cards that say " A donation has been made in your name to Operation Rescue" and all your Christmas gifts are covered.
And the Conservative Cave is where I found out about this place. Some intelligent people write there. I don't read the DU though. Its too much like talking about what someone saw on T.V.
Oh, and E.C. isn't my site. I'm just one of the only people that have stayed there through the years. It was the first political forum I ever posted at so I have sentimental attachments to it and will most likely buy it if the owner ever decides to give it up.
But yeah, now I've decided to b!tch about what it says under my name, New Contributor. That's all wrong. It lacks punch. It should read, Evil Conservative. That way its technically more accurate and less likely to engender expensive lawsuits over defamation of character, emotional damage and whatever else I can think of to cover my impending legal expenses.
I would like to point out though, that if the Libs had gotten on the Tort reform bandwagon, we wouldn't be headed to court to settle this completely frivolous and extra legal matter.
Anyway.
Whats that green and white stripy flag? Is it from one of those 57 states?
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Dec 14, 2009 23:57:24 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 14, 2009 23:57:24 GMT -5
I found it -the flag- online somewhere and it fit something I was putting into an unfinished story... so I just added it. Haven't thought about it since.
I can change the label under the avatar I think. Let me give it a shot.
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Dec 15, 2009 0:01:16 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 15, 2009 0:01:16 GMT -5
I wish Attero were around. We seem not to be able to keep a third member coming back often.
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Dec 15, 2009 0:11:44 GMT -5
Post by Attero Dominatus on Dec 15, 2009 0:11:44 GMT -5
Welcome, Aaron. Sorry I was not able to get here earlier and help you out with the screen name problem.
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Dec 15, 2009 0:37:17 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 15, 2009 0:37:17 GMT -5
well at least it says Evil Conservative under there now.
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Dec 15, 2009 1:04:04 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 15, 2009 1:04:04 GMT -5
Hellfire and sour apple juice. All of my pernicious demands have been met before I could rouse my team of sociopathic lawyers out of whatever opium induced slumber my medical team recommended they be placed under to protect an unsuspecting populace.
It doesn't matter. I'll come up with something to rain down fiery scorn and outrage upon.
Most likely tomorrow...after Polo but before Tea. If everything works out I figure I'll launch into an epic salt fueled rage* around 2'ish.
* I'm well known for gulping down heaping tablespoons of salt in order to raise my blood pressure high enough to cause flaming tears of rage to squirt from my eyeballs.
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Dec 15, 2009 1:16:50 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 15, 2009 1:16:50 GMT -5
lol. welcome aboard and stay thirsty. heh.
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Dec 15, 2009 16:14:53 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 15, 2009 16:14:53 GMT -5
Well, I'm a bit early. That in itself is unusual because I'm notoriously, fashionably late. I blame it on moving to a different time zone. That and the wretched experience I had today trying to beat my polo players into some semblance of a team. I'm too tired to even pour some Mortons salt down my throat. I'll have to settle for eating some moth balls and hope it has the same effect. Anyway. So I moved to Arizona from S.F. thinking that country living would do me a bit of good compared with the constant irritations I encountered living in a big city. However, I forgot to factor in all the irritations one might find out in Skeeterville. One of which is the difficulty rounding up enough experienced horsemen to form a polo team...two actually as it's not as much fun playing polo with only one team. I'm not saying there aren't horses out here, because there are. What I am saying is that the only people I could find at the spur of the moment were all hanging out in front of the liquor store at 7 A.M. looking for work. Luckily my Castilian is nearly flawless. Unluckily, these guys only spoke Mesikin', possibly Salvadorian. I never bothered to ask. But they all jumped into the back of my 62' Chevy pickup for the drive out to the ranch. It took some convincing once we arrived, but thanks to my neighbors help I soon had 7 Gauchos mounted on as many sway backed, knob kneed, fog heaved, bridle wise ponies as cold hard cash could buy at 8A.M. It seemed like an auspicious beginning. At this point I should post the rules for Polo so I don't have to add footnotes. www.polo.co.uk/polo_rules.htm Sure, its a game invented by Pomie bastards, but its a great way to spend an afternoon plus you get extra points for killing an opponents horse with the ball...although I think that rule only applies in Somalia and Australia. But one thing's for sure, I explained the rules quite clearly to my personal mounted cavalry of ex Zapatistas, Mexican bandits and possibly a frog humper or two. It was just a suspicion...it doesn't matter now. What matters is that as soon as the old wino I was using as a referee blew the whistle, all Hell broke loose. It was just the eight of us with one ball. I have no idea how the barn got set on fire. Also, I think my Castillian could use some work as I fail to see how swinging at mallet at your opponents head could possibly be considered as fair play under the Rules of International Play. I blame myself for taking the "when in Rome" attitude though. I had no idea the Mesikins and the Salvadorians hated each other that much. Makes me wish we had all been wearing helmets. Eventually though, somebody broke a mallet over someone else's head and one of the ponies fell over dead, (20 points) and the first Chukka ended. It was probably for the best that the neighbors called the cops. Although at the time all I could think of was that this whole episode was all too reminiscent of last years match against Venezuela down in Miami. I ended up in the back of a squad car there too. Turns out the barn wasn't on my property, the wino had an outstanding warrant and my Polo team lacked the required P-1 Visa for playing professionally in the U.S. I'm out a lot of dough in legal fees and/or bribes and I haven't even had lunch yet...unless Martinis count...although I can't see how, I hate olives. The upside is that the cops want to set up a match for next week. Oh, and like I said, I'm terribly worn out or else I would surely have found something to b!tch about on this site by now. Sincerely, A. Burr
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Dec 15, 2009 17:18:40 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 15, 2009 17:18:40 GMT -5
I love the writing style. The non-chalance definitely adds to the story.
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