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Dec 15, 2009 21:02:43 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 15, 2009 21:02:43 GMT -5
I'm ever so pleased my "writing style" meets with your approval. Its just me. Sometimes through a Dictaphone, sometimes I have my Filipino man servant write for me if I'm too incapacitated and sometimes, almost never, I actually sit down behind the keyboard and will the keys to press themselves. It sounds ludicrous I know, but the way I figure it, the keyboard has seen far too many ball peen hammers fly into the screen as a result of my volcanic rage to give me much guff.
The point is, my writing style is why my publicist has a restraining order against me. I never change my voice regardless of website or circumstance....or personal E-mails and/or court summons. Sometimes I like to speak through a different character, like in Red Planet. But even there I suppose the protagonist will lapse into studied nonchalance as his world implodes around him.
I'm incorrigible like that.
I once got banned from a Conservative website for getting into an argument over oatmeal. Oatmeal. The other place I got banned from had an incredibly stupid moderator that lacked a sense of humor. She would actually erase my posts as soon as she read them with watery, rheumatic eyes and clenched teeth.
I just kick that much ass.
Anyway. After a lovely steak dinner I've decided to find a new Polo team. Mainly because I.N.S. has thus far proven to be reticent in regards to taking bribes from me. Also, one of the officers that responded to my neighbors horrified cries for help stopped by before dinner to let me know his Polo team plans on riding A.T.V.'s and wear riot gear for next weeks match.
Its like I never moved at all.
Dictated but not read,
A.B.
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Dec 15, 2009 21:21:48 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 15, 2009 21:21:48 GMT -5
haha!
The mental of cops on ATV's and wearing riot gear playing polo against illegal immigrants on glue-factory horses is too rich. I need the laughs, this is good medicine.
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Dec 15, 2009 22:12:12 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 15, 2009 22:12:12 GMT -5
I figure writing, like music or video, can be used for good or ill. I choose the former while superficially embracing the later. It confuses some people and enrages others, but sometimes...every once in a while, I make myself laugh and then I know I'm doing it right.
But it's not all about illegal Polo matches and drinking Sterno under the freeway overpass in order to capture that ever elusive Bukowski weltanshauen, or world view. (What the Hell do I know about German?) What it's mostly about is using the literary arts to further my corrupt and completely unjust...although somewhat profitable... agenda of social engineering and rapacious profit mongering.
It beats shootin' heroin.
O.K. it's a tie, but for legal purposes I'm going with rapacious profit mongering.
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Dec 15, 2009 23:24:06 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 15, 2009 23:24:06 GMT -5
I'd go with profits too. I hear Heron are some mean birds.
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Dec 16, 2009 16:57:09 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 16, 2009 16:57:09 GMT -5
O.K., now I'm peptic. Where in the name of John Kennedy Toole is the forum for Haikus?! This is an outrage! I'm shocked! I'm Sho-raged!! BANZAI!!!
Also I'm mildly gassy over the fact that there is no Historical Fiction, Romance, Comedy and/or Children's book forum.
A section for Cartoons would be nice...maybe a section for learnin' Japanese...hmmm.
Well I'm not as indignant as I thought I would be.
My sense of smuggy self satisfaction must be really strong today.
But yeah, hop to it. I feel like writing some Jap poetry.
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Dec 16, 2009 17:10:32 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 16, 2009 17:10:32 GMT -5
We had a "Backroom" (for more 'adult' stuff) for a while but no-one ever posted there. heh.
Cartoons should fit in the TV, Movies Etc forum
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Dec 16, 2009 17:40:24 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 16, 2009 17:40:24 GMT -5
Are you...patronizing me?
Now you've done it. Now you've really done it. I'm shaking so violently with rage that I should be holding some unmixed paint cans in each hand. I'm so colossally furious that I'm surprised the computer screen hasn't melted from the white hot beams of savage blood lust burning from my eyes. Even as I write this, I'm assembling a crack team of malcontents, neer' do wells and chicken spankers to launch an all out assault of righteous vengeance upon the stony walls of Fort Looney.
All this over a fuggin' Haiku.
Also, I plan on maintaining my present towering rage in this thread until at least one of my perfidious demands have been met.
Winter morn burns soft.
Cold steel in the hand of doom.
Yellow snow at home.
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Dec 16, 2009 18:00:49 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 16, 2009 18:00:49 GMT -5
Okay, you can have a board for Haiku and Poetry or whatever
These, my walls of stone
Shall break your spears, swords and might
At end its you I smite
And no, I have no idea what I am doing.
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Dec 16, 2009 20:53:20 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 16, 2009 20:53:20 GMT -5
Hmmm. Your laziness factor gets an extra 10 points for not bothering to look it up. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku However, your attempt at writing said poetry without even knowing its rules and form pretty much gives you the lock for Lazy Literary Bastard 2009. Well played old chap. However, I find it difficult to maintain my faux outrage if you keep acquiescing so readily to my pernicious and petty demands. I'm literally running out of stuff to b!tch about. But I'm headed to the liquor store right now so there's still hope of salvaging this cheery thread and lifting it's tattered and ashy body to the glorious heights of literary turpitude. Yes, I'm shaking my fist at the screen right now.
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Dec 16, 2009 22:15:14 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 16, 2009 22:15:14 GMT -5
But I'm headed to the liquor store right now so there's still hope of salvaging this cheery thread and lifting it's tattered and ashy body to the glorious heights of literary turpitude.
Are you Dennis Miller?
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Dec 16, 2009 22:33:28 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 16, 2009 22:33:28 GMT -5
That lil' kid with the slingshot in his back pocket? No. I'm Aaron Burr. The man who single handedly prevented Alexander Hamilton from destroying this nation. The guy that almost captured the entire country of Mexico with Andrew Jackson. And the guy who once beat Thomas Jefferson at Whist for six straight games.
Anyway.
They were out of Pacifico at the store so I wound up just getting around 20 of those little bottles of Vanilla.
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Dec 16, 2009 23:06:23 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 16, 2009 23:06:23 GMT -5
I don't come here for history lessons, I get those from Harry Turtledove books. I don't drink but if it stills tastes like Coke I'll drink the whole 2 ltr bottle. Is it still drinking if you can't taste the liquor? That is not even the topic.
The topic I was going to ask is this: What do you think of writers like Orson Scott Card and Stephen Coonts?
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Dec 17, 2009 0:18:45 GMT -5
Post by Aaron Burr on Dec 17, 2009 0:18:45 GMT -5
I think I've only read one of Orson's books. I think it had talking rats and bats as the inheritors of the Earth. Everything I read is old. Old old. I like my heroes to be brawny Pall Mall smokers and my women in push up bras.
However, in the interest of felicity...due no doubt to all them lil' bottles of vanilla...I'll look up the other fellows you mentioned and take a whack at them if you think they're worth it.
Also, I figure your Avatar is the official flag of Christmas. Possibly Kwanza. But most likely the flag of Santa's Army.
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harvey
New Contributor
Posts: 2
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Dec 17, 2009 11:28:10 GMT -5
Post by harvey on Dec 17, 2009 11:28:10 GMT -5
Hellfire and sour apple juice. All of my pernicious demands have been met before I could rouse my team of sociopathic lawyers out of whatever opium induced slumber my medical team recommended they be placed under to protect an unsuspecting populace. (...snip...) You are indeed high-maintenance, a scourge to honest admins everywhere. Hello all - came to check out the place I thought the storyboard forum was members only?
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Dec 17, 2009 14:03:51 GMT -5
Post by Floyd Looney on Dec 17, 2009 14:03:51 GMT -5
Maybe if we had more than 2 or 3 regularly visiting members, lol. I would love to see more traffic here.
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